Midlife divorces are mostly the result of lack of commitment. Many people are shocked to learn that most divorces in their midlife years are the result of various reasons.
Midlife Divorces Are Mostly the Result of:
Let’s take a look at them. Some reasons may surprise you, such as infidelity or the desire to seek greener pastures.
Other reasons include an unwillingness to work through normal life changes such as kids leaving the nest or retirement. Regardless of the reason, midlife can bring about a major change in one’s outlook on life.
The pressure of child-rearing duties may ease, and disposable income might increase. Regardless of the reasons for divorce, there are several factors that contribute to this common dilemma.
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Lack of commitment
Lack of commitment was identified as one of the top reasons for divorce, a survey found. While it’s hard to prove exactly what constituted a lack of commitment, outward signs often correlate with other problems in a marriage.
Several participants reported gradual erosions of commitment over time and drastic drops when certain negative events occur.
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Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce in midlife. It’s common for a couple to get married when they’re too young, and this is often the final straw. Other reasons for a divorce include excessive arguments, health issues, opposition from extended family members, and religious differences.
In addition to infidelity, a significant number of couples report substance abuse and domestic violence as factors in their divorce.
While a midlife crisis can lead to a lack of commitment, it shouldn’t necessarily cause a divorce. Rather, a midlife crisis can lead to a productive conversation about the future of your relationship.
During this time, the two of you may discover some important truths about your marriage that you may have missed previously. In a healthy relationship, both partners need to be 100% committed to it.
Domestic violence
A study from Spain found that domestic violence was the most common cause of divorce in midlife. It cited various reasons, including spousal abuse, infidelity, and lack of commitment.
Drug and alcohol abuse and failure to get along were also common reasons for divorce. While the reasons for divorce varied among participants, the findings pointed to a clear pattern.
Domestic violence was the leading cause of divorce in midlife, while domestic abuse was the most common reason for ending a relationship.
Twenty-five percent of couples surveyed said that some of their issues were the cause of their divorce. Twenty-seven percent of those involved cited domestic violence as a cause of their divorce.
Twenty-seven percent of couples surveyed reported that their divorces were the result of domestic violence, and forty percent of those who had a partner who committed an act of abuse said that the issue contributed significantly to the divorce.
These factors were typically gradual and intensified over time.
Incompatibility
Although the number of divorces at this age has declined in recent decades, the incidence of divorce has nearly doubled in the past decade, especially among women. This is largely due to the fact that today, divorce is not as stigmatized as it once was.
In addition, women are often financially better-off and earn more money than men, and the increased lifespan of many Americans may also lead to middle-aged divorce.
Even after decades of marriage, couples often grow apart. While they may have once shared goals and values, things change and people start pursuing different paths. When the gap becomes too wide and unable to be bridged, a divorce is likely to follow.
In many cases, the gap is due to incompatibility in the two partners. However, there are ways to make the relationship work.
Couples often split because of irreconcilable differences in their goals and values. While some couples can compromise on their life goals, others simply cannot. For these couples, incompatibility in their goals is the main reason for their separation.
For example, a woman may wish to have a baby, while her husband does not. These differences can lead to an incompatibility in their children.
Incompatibility is one of the primary causes of midlife divorces. Couples who are struggling financially are more likely to cite financial incompatibility as the primary cause of their split.
In such cases, their spouses are more likely to fight about money, especially if they are not making enough money. Incompatibility often leads to extramarital affairs, and the financial issues often continue during the divorce process.
Situational factors
A study from Canada in the 1970s examined the causes of divorce in people who had been married for many years.
In the study, 75 percent of older and middle-aged individuals noted long-term marital unhappiness, and half of those who delayed divorce until their children were adults.
A similar study conducted in the 1990s investigated the determinants of divorce by marital duration and personality characteristics. The results showed that personality traits were not associated with a higher risk of divorce in middle age, but did predict divorce earlier in life.
Several studies show that women and men differ in their emotional adjustment after a midlife divorce. Divorced women report more negative feelings than men, with a stronger tendency to feel “trapped” and unhappy.
Divorced men, however, report better adjustment than widowed women. The authors conclude that midlife divorces are primarily a result of situational factors. However, this doesn’t mean that the results are conclusive.
The findings suggest that midlife divorces are primarily the result of life experiences and the role people played in their marriages.
A study conducted by Carol Wright and Joseph Maxwell examined the effects of midlife divorces on children.
While both parents were more likely to seek support from adult children, women ranked grown children higher than men as the most supportive source of support.
Women tended to receive more emotional and financial support from their grown children than men, while men rated their parents and friends as the greatest sources of support. This suggests that the effects of midlife divorces may have lasting effects on adult children.
While the causes of midlife divorces vary between women and men, there are common patterns that predict who will get a divorce in midlife.
Demographers project that the chances of divorce are eleven to 18 percent among baby boomers. In order to get a divorce, a baby boomer must have been married for a decade before the divorce occurred. However, there is no reason to panic.