Push-pull relationship psychology refers to the process of pushing and pulling a partner. When you push the person, they think that they play a significant role in your life.
When you pull, the person opens up more to you. This technique has its limitations and should not be used more than twice.
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Push-Pull Relationship Psychology
Empathy
There is an emerging body of literature that argues that empathy can have profound effects on our behaviour. Empathy is a basic human ability, and its effects are measurable in several ways, including the way we feel about other people.
Empathy has been shown to affect both approaches and avoidance behaviors.
Nevertheless, few studies have focused on the relationship between situational and dispositional empathy. Most studies have relied on spontaneous occurrence of situational empathy, with participants assessing their feelings in a limited number of settings.
This limits the reliability of the results, and future research should explore the effects of various scenarios. Additionally, the sampling methods used to collect the data may also limit their generalizability.
Interestingly, when participants are asked to perform an exercise in which they must avoid a person who is displaying distress, the results show a relationship that is less compatible than the one they are attempting to avoid.
This is because in a situation where the person suffering is experiencing extreme pain, the participant’s empathy and concern is higher.
In contrast, people who experience emotional distress also tend to show greater arousal levels, leading to greater speed and sensitivity in responses.
These results suggest that people who experience empathy are more likely to act altruistically to reduce the other’s suffering. Empathic concern may also contribute to a person’s egoistic motivation to alleviate the other’s suffering.
Fear of abandonment
In the case of push-pull relationships, the fear of abandonment can be a limiting factor. The fear of abandonment makes a person withdraw from a relationship when there is intimacy involved.
It also causes a person to experience cold feet. This can cause an individual to become depressed or even to seek an escape route.
The key to dealing with this fear is to recognize the underlying cause. People who have experienced abandonment may not feel comfortable being vulnerable in front of other people.
By acknowledging the source of their fear, they can take rational actions to improve their relationship. They can avoid the feelings of abandonment and be more secure in the relationship.
The fear of abandonment can make a person withdraw from their partner for no apparent reason. They may even seek to pick fights to avoid the painful feelings associated with being abandoned.
To overcome this fear, the person must make it clear that he or she will not abandon the person. To prove this, the person should state that he or she is ready to listen when the other person speaks. Moreover, it’s necessary to establish a strong sense of importance.
Although the fear of abandonment is not a mental illness, it is still a powerful factor that can hinder a person’s ability to create a healthy relationship. If this fear is making you unable to make a fulfilling life, you should seek help.
It is often a symptom of a childhood loss or trauma. But the best way to deal with the fear of abandonment is to understand it and get the right help.
Fear of engulfment
Fear of engulfment is an emotional phenomenon that results in intimacy issues between two people. Often, the victim feels that his or her life is in danger and wishes to separate from the relationship.
He or she may also fantasize about being alone but feels obligated to help his or her partner.
When a partner feels this way, the relationship is characterized by hot and cold behaviors. The ambivalent partner’s fear of intimacy is directly related to his or her aversion to being intimate.
The ambivalent partner may even say that they don’t see the point in being in a relationship and do not understand the need for intimacy. This fear causes the person to push back against intimacy and turn cold when intimacy is near.
This condition is most often inherited from overbearing parents.
Fear of intimacy is often based on feelings of being undeserving of love. This fear can lead to perfectionism and a need to be “perfect” for others to accept them. People who are afraid of intimacy may have difficulty expressing their needs and wants.
To overcome this issue, the pusher must learn to view distance positively and open up to their partner. The fear of intimacy is related to the pusher’s fear of being vulnerable.
The person may have suffered a painful experience in the past that caused them to be scared to open up to their partner. The best way to overcome this fear is to open up slowly and gradually.
Indifference
The opposite of love, indifference can come in many forms in a relationship. It can be manifested as a shoulder shrug, an avoidant comment, an offer of advice, or a job opportunity.
The amount of indifference in a relationship can be a reflection of the overall dynamic or the frequency of similar situations in the past.
A push-pull relationship is characterized by two people pushing each other in opposite directions. This dynamic is volatile and often involves both partners being indifferent to one another.
Often, the partners in this type of relationship are indifferent to each other’s feelings and relationship direction.
If the pusher feels that the relationship is not serious enough, he or she will withdraw. The opposite is true when the pusher feels that the relationship is getting too serious. As a result, the pusher will begin withdrawing from the relationship when the tension rises.
Self-esteem is another issue in a push-pull relationship. Changing one’s self-image can make one less fearful of putting themselves in the middle of a push-pull relationship. It may be possible to save the relationship by improving self-esteem.
In many cases, it will also be possible to get counseling to improve the relationship.
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Impulsivity
Impulsivity is a trait that negatively affects relationships. In an intimate relationship, impulsivity often leads to arguments, hurt feelings, and pushes the other person away. People who have impulsive tendencies often regret what they do and feel guilty.
They may also worry that their partner will become angry. As a result, they may try to pull the other person back in.
When this behavior continues, the relationship can become toxic. The push-pull dynamic creates an unhealthy power struggle, which can lead to insecurity and emotional instability.
Impulsive behavior is often a symptom of a condition called borderline personality disorder (BPD). People with BPD may push other people away both emotionally and physically. However, therapy and specialized psychiatric care can help people overcome the symptoms of BPD.
Impulsivity is a behavior that occurs when people are unable to resist an urge. They tend to buy things they otherwise would not.
This behavior is often the result of a fear of intimacy and does not allow for genuine attachment and fulfillment. It leaves both parties feeling vulnerable and unfulfilled.
People who have a high level of intimacy fear may feel that they are vulnerable to abandonment, but their partners have little to lose by ending the relationship.
In a push-pull relationship, one partner may end up chasing the other person while the other person becomes less interested. The pusher may not notice that the other partner is becoming uninterested, but this cycle can cause tension and stress.
In some cases, a push-pull relationship is good, but in others, it can be unhealthy.
Narcissism
A narcissist is a powerful force in the world of relationships. They have split personalities and can reward their partners while devaluing them. They also often ignore boundaries and use others. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you need to be prepared for the tough times ahead.
Narcissists put on a constant facade of doubt and jealous comments and make their victims into diminished versions of themselves. They are also constantly blaming other people for their problems. And while they may appear to be genuinely caring and considerate, they’re really more concerned about what’s in it for them.
Narcissists can be extremely difficult to remove from a relationship. The best way to end your relationship with a narcissist is to leave or cut off contact. This may be difficult, particularly if you have children. In such a situation, you should seek help from qualified professionals.
Narcissists don’t like admitting their faults. They’re afraid of being embarrassed and therefore won’t take responsibility for their actions. They will do anything to maintain their false image.
They’ll even go out of their way to make interactions with others all about them. If you’re angry with them, you’ll often hear them say, “How dare you get so obsessed with me?”
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, you should learn to assert your boundaries and develop a support group of friends. Avoid spending a lot of time with them, as it will drain your emotional energy.
Instead, try to cultivate new friendships and get together with your family more often.